If you know me, you know I can't tell a joke to save my life. Thanks to Reader's Digest, I have discovered these gems or groaners. (Depends on your funny bone.) I actually remembered the pirate one to be able to tell a co-worker. In my 30 years, it was the first time I'd probably told a joke and remembered the punch line. So without further ado, I present my entire repertoire of jokes. And yes, they are bar jokes.
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?" (Being a librarian and taking the theme of this blog into account, I thought it was a good one.)
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Why do you have a paper towel on your head?" The pirate replies, "ARRR, I have a bounty on me head!"
(Ok, I really did laugh out loud when I read this. I know. Really. I know. Sad but true.)